Runaway If You Want To Survive

Does anyone ever get that feeling, that inner knowing that something's coming? Like a huge change or shift is about to occur? You can't quite explain why, but deep down you just know? It's not even anything negative, but you just sense that something is about to happen. You may not know when or exactly how, but your instincts and dreams have picked up on the signs...

Fast forward to a week later... When I tell you that God sees and hears ALL things, believe it! If anyone would have told me that four years later, I would receive extra confirmation about a decision that I made, I might've looked at them like they're foolish. Honestly, it's not even about what I was informed of, but more of HOW it arrived on my lap. The Lord surely sends kind messengers from every corner. The truth will ALWAYS reveal itself! I don't wish ill-will on anyone, but you do not go about mistreating people and end up living a happy and peaceful life. As much I may feel bad as a human being with a heart, I'm also incredibly grateful to know that it could've easily been me! God saved me! He delivered me! He blocked itttttt! I didn't have all the answers those many years ago, but I appreciate the clarity now. And to think that I could've been alone, barefoot, pregnant (with Lord knows how many...) and near no family or friends in the middle of nowhere... Wooooo thank You Father! 🙌🏽

I pray that no woman ever has to deal with a selfish, insensitive, entitled, grown toddler/man-child for a husband/partner. But, I get that life happens and I've always said that if necessary, I would rather come home alive from a broken marriage than in a coffin. Periodt. Life is wayyyy too short to be dealing with such chaos. Of course, it may be easy for us on the outside looking in, but for those of us that have experienced abusive relationships and lived to tell the tale, my goodness... As 90's group "The Real McCoy" once sang: "Runaway, runaway, runaway and save your life! Runaway, run-away, runaway if you want to survive! It's time to break free!" Take care of you, Sis/Bro/Ya'll! 

I don't always discuss my experiences with narcissistic-sociopath abuse, but I'm here to be a voice and hopefully a beacon of hope for anyone that needs it. I'm far from perfect, but I know my worth and it took me a long time to get my glow back and I refuse to allow anyone to dim my sparkle. So, please take time to heal and release any wounds or toxic coping behaviors and generational wounds (that’s a topic for another day! 👀) Remember that no one can ever steal your joy, your peace or your loving heart. I'm a big believer in "whatever will be, will be" and that “what’s for you, will always be FOR YOU!” We just need to be open to receiving and to make room for the next chapter. I'm still learning, but I know that as cliché as it sounds, the best IS yet to come! My journey is far from over and I look forward to discovering what else is in store. ✍🏽

I hope everyone enjoys the remainder of the week! 

Nitey nite! 🌙

All my love,

Sharon 🖤

"Social Distancing" An Introvert's Bliss (or Hell)

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and spending time with their loved ones (if possible) during this crazy time. I'm sure extroverts are kinda losing their minds out there, but as a self-proclaimed introvert, try to pause, slow down and look on the bright side of things. 👀

Think of all the things you can accomplish with this time of seclusion... When was the last time you took time for yourself? Have you tried a new recipe? Why not bake that dessert that you've been dying to try out thanks to endless baking tutorials on Youtube? 🍰 Grab that book that's been sitting on your desk for months. 📚 If you're feeling anxious or worried about x-y-and-z (hello, it's me!) perhaps text, call or Facetime someone important to you and vent or maybe grab one of your many journals and write to your heart's content! And if you must cry, let those tears fall and decorate your pages. 📝 Try to find a healthy outlet to release anything that's beyond your control or to simply just breathe. I'm sure that we could all use a rejuvenating nap. Sometimes, the best way to recharge is to not do, but be still. 😌

I'll admit that I'm scared at times... Scared of unexpected changes, scared that I may not say or do the right things, scared to open up my heart and be vulnerable, scared that I won't have enough time, scared that my hopes and dreams feel so far-fetched or nearly impossible and scared that maybe I'm just so focused on the future, that I end up running from my present self... 😔

I read something earlier today and noticed that it fit exactly not only how I’ve been feeling, but how my thought process has shifted as I’ve grown older: “Breaking out of old thought patterns and finding refreshing ways to express yourself are also things to aspire to... Of course, that means risking being wrong or saying something that not everyone will agree with. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TAKE THAT RISK, even if it means making a strong impression that you’re worried will come across as too bold. Have courage to speak your mind and see things in a new light. GROWTH REQUIRES CHANGE.” Can I say that I felt attacked yet heard? 👀

Trust me, despite my calm demeanor, I'm a clam of worry. I worry about others, their tone of voice, their change in behavior, reading too deep into shit and ya girl manages to find a way to worry before there are even things TO worry about, so how do ya'll think I'm doing now?! I'm an acrobat at jumping to conclusions. 😧😩

But, all is well... I woke up this morning. I'm ingesting way too much tea and carbohydrates. I've managed to wash my hair with one hand (burned my left hand earlier this week, so please be careful in the kitchen guys!) and type up a fresh post. Baby steps... 🙌

Who knew that turning 28 would not only change how my mind and body operates, but also how much I've been self-reflecting?! Ya girl is tired. She's emotionally drained... 🍵

Anywho, feel free to leave me comments on your thoughts and how you guys are handling things during this hectic situation. Take care my darlings! Stay hydrated, get some well-deserved rest and take your Vitamin C!


With Love,
Sharon 🌙

Just Tea for Two, Two for Tea...

Hey everyone!

I thought that I would go on here and discuss a bit about shadiness, lack of transparency and how problematic lurking can be... 👀😏 I mean, how many of us can raise their hand and admit that they've done SUCH a good job at snooping that they came across way too much information after going down the rabbit hole? 🙋 Like should we be hired as private investigators? Probably, but I digress.

Anywho, let me indicate a small disclaimer that I will not reveal any names in these incidents, but feel free to fill-in the blanks or even share similar situations/experiences in the comments below. I'd love to sip tea along with you all! 🐸🍵

I'm sure that most of us are aware of this whole "side-hoe/chick/dude" epidemic and for those that willingly participate, God-speed to you... But, for the rest of us that want something real and have ever felt like we may have met the right person, so all seemed peachy, but suddenly you can't sleep, then begin to over analyze past conversations or situations and start to connect the dots at 2am, one can't help but want to scream or possibly commit a homicide (but, that would be far too extreme.) 😇

Oh and for the ones you meet that give you the classic line of: "I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now..." But, neglect to include: "Oh, but you can't see other people though and I hope that you remain loyal to me while I go sow my royal oats with other females that fit my type/fetishes/needs" or "I'll offer you the bare-minimum just to maintain access to you in case I need you back in my life (once I get my shit together), but I don't want anything serious with you right now, but you have no right to get upset because we're not even together, but I'm allowed to get possessive and jealous if another guy even looks at you or tries to communicate with you." If that's not a serious case of male brain-damage, then I don't know what is... 😒

And what really bugs me is that some guys may even dote on you hand and foot, proclaim all of these false promises and plans for the future, when in reality they don't even know what they're doing tomorrow, let alone next week... Sometimes it's not even them being inconsistent, it's the overbearing-types you also need to watch out for because they can really mess with your discernment. It's as if you can't even rely on your intuition anymore... 😩

I swear you think that the older you get, the better and mature guys become, but some of these dudes just make you want to go: Dang, what is up with the world today? Why are more and more people so manipulative and selfish? And why are some guys so afraid to feel something real? It's as if when it happens, they end up freakin' out and sabotaging a good thing over their indecisiveness. I'm not saying that all guys react that way, since I actually have had ONE case scenario where the guy was kind and upfront about what he wanted to do, how he felt and I truly respected him for it. We're still friends to this day and he's happily married now. He even offered sound advice as to how he knew she was his person, as well as, why it may take some guys longer to settle down and how some guys are just complete idiots when they meet the right girl. 😂

I guess my point is, can the people that want to fiddle every nook and cranny find another person that wants their cranny fiddled AND can the rest of us that would like to build a life with someone, find their person accordingly? I don't think that's too complicated is it? It's not a competition, it's just become exhausting having to start over when the timing is off. Side note: do you believe in meeting the right person, but at the wrong time? Like does time ever work out where both are in a good place and you can decide: "Great! Let's do this!" or is that just in the movies or for those that are prone to luck in love? It makes me think of those scenarios where high school sweethearts drift a part, they marry other people, both become widows/widowers and they reunite later in life. 💞

It's tough for me to say really, but I have experienced two cases where I thought the timing may work out better in adulthood. Unfortunately, it doesn't always mean "meant to be" it may just be more of a, "nah, this is why it wouldn't work out..." They say "timing is everything" but what most fail to realize is that time is not guaranteed! People change, circumstances can shift and you're not in control of what another person will do if another opportunity presented itself that may be a better fit. I'm at a point in my life where I need to make a decision on whether to stay and let things be or walk away. I'm in no rush, but I'm also not getting any younger and it's not fair to my heart and mind to wait around for a "possibility." I may be patient, but I'm no fool. 😤

Pardon the intense venting session, but I needed to release what's been weighing on my heart for the past 2-3 years and I'm thankfully in no way pointing the blame at anyone, I just hope and pray that more people may be more vocal about what they truly want and to never allow anyone to manipulate them, string them along or take them for granted. 🙌

Feel free to leave a comment below if any of these thoughts resonated with you and perhaps any suggestions for future posts.

I appreciate the support and kind ears. Enjoy the rest of the week! 💋

With Love,
Sharon 💖