Runaway If You Want To Survive

Does anyone ever get that feeling, that inner knowing that something's coming? Like a huge change or shift is about to occur? You can't quite explain why, but deep down you just know? It's not even anything negative, but you just sense that something is about to happen. You may not know when or exactly how, but your instincts and dreams have picked up on the signs...

Fast forward to a week later... When I tell you that God sees and hears ALL things, believe it! If anyone would have told me that four years later, I would receive extra confirmation about a decision that I made, I might've looked at them like they're foolish. Honestly, it's not even about what I was informed of, but more of HOW it arrived on my lap. The Lord surely sends kind messengers from every corner. The truth will ALWAYS reveal itself! I don't wish ill-will on anyone, but you do not go about mistreating people and end up living a happy and peaceful life. As much I may feel bad as a human being with a heart, I'm also incredibly grateful to know that it could've easily been me! God saved me! He delivered me! He blocked itttttt! I didn't have all the answers those many years ago, but I appreciate the clarity now. And to think that I could've been alone, barefoot, pregnant (with Lord knows how many...) and near no family or friends in the middle of nowhere... Wooooo thank You Father! 🙌🏽

I pray that no woman ever has to deal with a selfish, insensitive, entitled, grown toddler/man-child for a husband/partner. But, I get that life happens and I've always said that if necessary, I would rather come home alive from a broken marriage than in a coffin. Periodt. Life is wayyyy too short to be dealing with such chaos. Of course, it may be easy for us on the outside looking in, but for those of us that have experienced abusive relationships and lived to tell the tale, my goodness... As 90's group "The Real McCoy" once sang: "Runaway, runaway, runaway and save your life! Runaway, run-away, runaway if you want to survive! It's time to break free!" Take care of you, Sis/Bro/Ya'll! 

I don't always discuss my experiences with narcissistic-sociopath abuse, but I'm here to be a voice and hopefully a beacon of hope for anyone that needs it. I'm far from perfect, but I know my worth and it took me a long time to get my glow back and I refuse to allow anyone to dim my sparkle. So, please take time to heal and release any wounds or toxic coping behaviors and generational wounds (that’s a topic for another day! 👀) Remember that no one can ever steal your joy, your peace or your loving heart. I'm a big believer in "whatever will be, will be" and that “what’s for you, will always be FOR YOU!” We just need to be open to receiving and to make room for the next chapter. I'm still learning, but I know that as cliché as it sounds, the best IS yet to come! My journey is far from over and I look forward to discovering what else is in store. ✍🏽

I hope everyone enjoys the remainder of the week! 

Nitey nite! 🌙

All my love,

Sharon 🖤

Speak

Hey everyone! 

I hope everyone’s safe and taking care of one another! Please don’t forget to take care of yourself too! I understand that with all that has been going on, we’re hurt and overwhelmed. So, continue to pace yourself and know when to unplug and take mental breaks. Then, stand up again, when you’re ready. 🙏🏽

I understand that many of us (such as myself, coming from a conservative, African home) grew up in passive cultures and told to never “talk back” or “use your voice” even when you’re right. In the past, I researched and learned that my ancestors from Madagascar, were on the slave ships that were taken to Georgia and parts of South America such as Brazil and Peru. We were specifically targeted due to our timid, docile and obedient nature, and so were considered best suited as “House slaves.” 😔 Once discovering that, I understood that this is still an ancestral and generational curse that we need to heal and work through. I love and appreciate my people for their big, compassionate hearts, even in the face of adversity. So, I’m doing my best to empathize with those that may have trouble being vocal, while also processing their emotions and dealing with many internal struggles. I’m also proud of those of us that are healing and reprogramming ourselves, as well as, encouraging the generation before us to stand and use their voice just as they’ve witnessed ours.

I’m not asking you to meet me where I am now on this journey (trust me, I’ve been there and I’m constantly evolving) but, rather work through meeting yourself where you are. We ALL have the power to make a difference, so make sure to nurture and know your role! I’ve taken the time to list below ways YOU TOO can do your part, so feel free to share! ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Remember Me This Way

Hey everyone!

I hope you're all safe and staying in as much as possible. I just wanted to express the heaviness in my heart from the loss of a sweet and dear childhood friend of mine, earlier this morning. He passed away due to complications from the virus, as well as, other serious health issues. I cannot imagine the immense panic, worry and pain of losing a child, parent or other family member. And you can never expect that the last conversation with that person would be the very last... My heart truly goes out to his parents during this extremely difficult time. 😔

He always dreamed of true love and growing old with someone... It truly breaks my heart that he will never get to experience that in this lifetime. He was always so self-aware, willing to learn and understand all of the complexities of life and had such a big heart. That guy knew how to write... I would find myself sometimes, having to take my time and respond in sections due to the extensive content (they were like essays, guys!) But, I loved how he would always remind me to take as much time as I needed to respond and even if I didn't get to, he was grateful to have some sort of outlet to vent anything weighing on his heart. I'm really going to miss his child-like innocence, his patience, for always wanting the best for me and those he cared for.

My girls and I were reminding one another that from now on, once someone comes to mind, reach out! Life is way too short! We need each other more than ever, so please if you can find some time during your day to contact someone, please do! Whether it's a text, call, email, or an old-fashioned letter by mail, do it! You never know how much that ONE kind gesture can encourage someone on this journey. Be more loving. Be more kind. Be more patient and embrace your present. 💕

I'm quite emotional today and had a good cry in the shower, but I know that I'll get through this and that I can hold onto the goodness in this life. I cherish people like him in life and I hope he knew how loved he was. We need more gentle souls in this world. I love you, Kris! Rest well, my friend. 💔

With Love,
Sharon 💙


P.S. this song immediately came to mind today, so feel free to give it a listen when you can. I started singing it to myself and couldn't help, but break down into tears. My heart truly aches today, but I trust that one day I will see him on that great morning. 🙏🏼

RIP Kris 🌻

Remember Me This Way - Jordan Hill (Casper 1995)

"Social Distancing" An Introvert's Bliss (or Hell)

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and spending time with their loved ones (if possible) during this crazy time. I'm sure extroverts are kinda losing their minds out there, but as a self-proclaimed introvert, try to pause, slow down and look on the bright side of things. 👀

Think of all the things you can accomplish with this time of seclusion... When was the last time you took time for yourself? Have you tried a new recipe? Why not bake that dessert that you've been dying to try out thanks to endless baking tutorials on Youtube? 🍰 Grab that book that's been sitting on your desk for months. 📚 If you're feeling anxious or worried about x-y-and-z (hello, it's me!) perhaps text, call or Facetime someone important to you and vent or maybe grab one of your many journals and write to your heart's content! And if you must cry, let those tears fall and decorate your pages. 📝 Try to find a healthy outlet to release anything that's beyond your control or to simply just breathe. I'm sure that we could all use a rejuvenating nap. Sometimes, the best way to recharge is to not do, but be still. 😌

I'll admit that I'm scared at times... Scared of unexpected changes, scared that I may not say or do the right things, scared to open up my heart and be vulnerable, scared that I won't have enough time, scared that my hopes and dreams feel so far-fetched or nearly impossible and scared that maybe I'm just so focused on the future, that I end up running from my present self... 😔

I read something earlier today and noticed that it fit exactly not only how I’ve been feeling, but how my thought process has shifted as I’ve grown older: “Breaking out of old thought patterns and finding refreshing ways to express yourself are also things to aspire to... Of course, that means risking being wrong or saying something that not everyone will agree with. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TAKE THAT RISK, even if it means making a strong impression that you’re worried will come across as too bold. Have courage to speak your mind and see things in a new light. GROWTH REQUIRES CHANGE.” Can I say that I felt attacked yet heard? 👀

Trust me, despite my calm demeanor, I'm a clam of worry. I worry about others, their tone of voice, their change in behavior, reading too deep into shit and ya girl manages to find a way to worry before there are even things TO worry about, so how do ya'll think I'm doing now?! I'm an acrobat at jumping to conclusions. 😧😩

But, all is well... I woke up this morning. I'm ingesting way too much tea and carbohydrates. I've managed to wash my hair with one hand (burned my left hand earlier this week, so please be careful in the kitchen guys!) and type up a fresh post. Baby steps... 🙌

Who knew that turning 28 would not only change how my mind and body operates, but also how much I've been self-reflecting?! Ya girl is tired. She's emotionally drained... 🍵

Anywho, feel free to leave me comments on your thoughts and how you guys are handling things during this hectic situation. Take care my darlings! Stay hydrated, get some well-deserved rest and take your Vitamin C!


With Love,
Sharon 🌙